And for the better part of two decades, it’s been his job to pass them on. In Palahniuk’s presence, people can’t help but share these stories. I have yet to write the ultimate poop story, but it makes all my friends laugh…” It got me thinking about a funny short story. People would bring crap in, then carry their lunch in the next day in the same container. It’s completely made him stop stealing people’s lunches out of the refrigerator. “He started telling me stories about everyday dishes that people bring dog and cat crap in. “I said, ‘people bring in stool samples with their good kitchen Tupperware?’” Palahniuk recalls. When people bring in something brown and lumpy in a Tupperware container, it’s usually dog shit. “That’s what’s in this Tupperware,” Palahniuk said, which confused the vet tech.
The writer packed the pill pockets in a Tupperware container, then gave them to his vet tech, who asked if the dog swallowed her pills. The pill pockets make the whole ordeal more palatable for the dog, but Palahniuk’s balked at the offering. The cult novelist was supposed to feed his dog two pills, a task made easier if the capsules were stuffed inside brown, lumpy treats called “pill pockets.” It’s a dog-owner trick, designed to make the pills taste like chicken, a generic hickory-smoked meat or peanut butter. Of all places, Palahniuk was grossed out at his veterinarian’s office. What could possibly disgust the guy who made more than 70 people faint during readings in 2005 with “Guts,” a short story that would appear a year later in the equally stomach-churning novel Haunted? That guy who, more recently, penned a death scene around a girl supposedly yanking her grandfather’s penis through a jagged hole in a bathroom stall in 2013’s Doomed? The dude who has, more or less, mapped a career from finding meaning in your family’s worst story? What’s the last thing that got under Chuck Palahniuk’s skin?
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